What happens to modesty on Halloween? (Media credit: Costume Alibi/Amazon.com)

by Michael McGurk

This past Halloween, something beautiful and brutal, something ugly and magical happened. It was the kind of magic when drunken bike punk meets drunken frat guy, the kind of magic that only happens on Halloween. Hopefully, it’s the kind of thing that most people will just shrug off. But after that night, it may take a few days for some students of Drexel University to heal their dignity.

It started innocently enough — guessing people’s costumes in front of California Pizza. But soon enough, the costume guessing turned into costume bashing. Next came the character insults. It was all in good fun though. The dirtiest, most basic kind of fun one can have. It was the faceless mob game.

At some point earlier in the night, I ended up at a friend’s house next to California Pizza. It was normal for a while, everyone hanging out on the porch or in the basement. Someone had the idea to start throwing out insults at passers-by, and everyone inside of the house came outside to join. Who’d want to miss that kind of fun?

The insults grew more personal. By the time the fifth or sixth female bumblebee walked by, clutching her tough-guy boyfriend’s arm, the blood was already in the streets, figuratively. When you have your skirt hiked up to your butt cheeks, wearing only a bikini, trying to pass as something “cute,” it just doesn’t make you look very classy.  Do you expect to retain any sense of dignity after deliberately mooning a faceless mob that just insulted you for being dressed so skimpily?

I prayed that no one I knew would walk down Powelton Avenue that night, for their own sake.

Lesson 1: Even on Halloween, take pride in your appearance, it’s the only thing strangers have to judge you.

Girls, even on Halloween, it is not okay to show your body off just for attention. Those frat guys that you hang out with may enjoy you at their party, but once you decide to walk home, you have to walk through WEST PHILADELPHIA. You can’t honestly expect to walk around dressed skimpier than a prostitute and not get heckled. And for the drunken frat-guy escorts, when you try to defend the girl that you are obviously objectifying, and then you insult a mob of 30 people that you don’t know, don’t expect to come out with a shred of self-respect.

It was better than a TV show being on the porch, watching the madness unfold.  But TV shows generally have a pretty clear lesson. The lessons from this Halloween night were not so obvious. These are the lessons learned through real life, not through television — the kind of lessons that you learn from watching the way people interact and respond to each other.

For example, one anonymous “bro” that passed by, I’ll refer to him as “the Dude,” got heckled just like everyone else. But the Dude decided that he was tougher than the 30 kids standing outside Cali Pizza, not to mention the 15 in the back of a pickup truck across the street, all against him.
I could see in his eyes that he was blackout drunk. He may not have even have remembered the scene the next day.

His first mistake was that he listened to the insults, and retaliated.

Lesson 2: Do not pick fights with massive, drunken mobs of college kids. JUST KEEP WALKING BY. Turning the other cheek is not a hard concept. But the Dude stayed, trying to fight his way back to being one of the “cool guys.” But even when the Dude’s friends started trying to get him to leave, he was steadfast. He would not leave until he insulted every one of the 40+ people insulting him, telling him he needed to go home.
After hanging around, being insulted systematically for about an hour, eventually the Dude got picked up off the ground jokingly. This was when I realized that the fun would be ending soon.

Lesson 3: The faceless mob game is fun to play, until things start getting physical.

The Dude was obviously looking for a fight on Halloween. One of the Dude’s friends showed up with a concealed knife and showed it to us threateningly. The faceless mob, I’m sure, was not opposed to a fight either, but no one on our team was willing to make the first move. We were just in it for the fun, until the Dude decided that he had to stick around and offer to fight all 40+ of us. I could see that he wasn’t leaving anytime soon, and it was only a matter of time before things got out of hand. Now, I’ve had my share of run-ins with the police, so when things start getting out of hand, I’m generally the first in line for the exit. Tonight was no exception.

I heard from a friend who stayed that eventually the Dude pushed somebody’s girlfriend, and then a fight broke out. Glass was broken and bodies hit the ground, but soon DPS broke everything up. I’m not sure if anyone got hurt — I certainly hope not.

To all the people that were insulted walking down Powelton Avenue that night, don’t take it too hard. I’m sure that when classes began on Monday, no one took what was said seriously. Unless, of course, you were one of the barely dressed females showing off your body to random guys that were insulting your low-class attire anyway. Have some self respect.